Alice in wonderland ... The Penh Diary Week 8

When I was shooting for one of my favourite shows Achievers Club we had a serial entrepreneur Ronnie Screwvala as of one the guests. He said something, which has stayed with me ‘whenever you are faced with a dilemma about what to do, ask yourself what is the worst that could happen’ the worst had happened I had nothing left to lose! Right after my mugging when I was really feeling down and out Yan kept telling me soon the feeling would change to anger real rage, anger never really came but FREEDOM did. And that is a very liberating feeling. I haven’t felt this free in the longest time.

This feeling helped me a lot when I decided to go traveling down south to Kampot & Kep. Since I need to make my money last much longer I decided to stay in hostels and oh did I pick the right one! Kampot is a beautiful riverside town and I picked a hostel that was constructed on bamboos stilts ON the river, with a 180-degree view of untouched nature. It was an out of this world feeling; luckily that was just the beginning!

Hostel life is all about chilling out together and making new friends. When I hung out in the lobby the first day I felt socially awkward, everyone was chatting with each other but I have an inherent problem I cannot initiate a conversation! Once someone talks to me I can take over completely but making the first move is not in my DNA. So there I sat for a good one hour soaking in the beautiful view, kicking myself for not having completed my swimming lessons as everyone was indulging in all the water activities and seemed to be having a blast. I felt like I was doing a social experiment on myself and failing miserably. You need to smile more was what Ramon my boss in Phnom Penh had once told me. So I started mechanically smiling at people passing by, slowly the smile became more genuine as did the conversations, the evening ended on a spectacular note.

 The new liberated me wanted to try new experiences. I decided to rent a bike and go up Bokor Mountain. Several people warned me that the roads were twisted and an inexperienced rider might not make it all the way up. The old me would have gone into a shell and perhaps even fallen for the easier tours that everyone was hard selling. What if I had an accident or got a flat tire? Or even ran out of fuel? There are always two choices. Two paths to take. One is easy. And it's only reward is that it’s easy.

I was rewarded and how for taking the tougher route. I saw magic! The journey was far more enjoyable than the destination because I saw an orchestra in the sky, the clouds played hide and seek with the sun and i saw psychedelic lights come down, the landscape kept getting better, I rode through the clouds and caught myself singing several times. When I couldn’t recollect the lyrics I made them up, pure joy and happiness is what I was experiencing, I was actually high on life or nature?

A good 1:45 mins later I made it to the top, kind of exhausted. Found a gorgeous waterfall and took a nap below it then got up and rode across the mountain. By the time I got back to my hostel I was deliciously exhausted but extremely content. Taking a nap in the mixed dorm didn’t bother me at all; I surprise myself all the time nowadays. In the eve I hung out at the hostel and made some good friends, people who I connected to but didn’t get attached to, so the next day when I left we didn’t exchange email ids or numbers, just shared memories.

Having tasted blood I didn’t want to let go off the bike and rode 50 km to Kep a beach town with some seriously spectacular landscape. I enjoyed the best crab fry I have ever had on the beach before going to a lovely restaurant where I began the gin and tonic marathon. Some 10 drinks later I was exhilarated ahem! I wanted to go for the firefly cruise in Kampot, which was an hour away, check into the new hostel and take a shower before leaving. I didn’t have much time so I zipped on the highway feeling like i was inside the road racer video game i used to love playing as a kid and it was the best feeling ever. I evidently made it in one piece. I now completely get why men love their bikes more than their women!

I made it just in time for the cruise, and the magic continued … we sailed for a good one hour and just as I was beginning to wonder if the fire had left the flies cause I could see none, the motor was switched off and we docked in front of a massive tree. Pin drop silence, pitch-dark exterior and then I looked up! The tree was full of fireflies …

When you experience so much magic and get so high on life, you become like alice in wonderland. Seeing the same old things in a new way, and they have a completely different impact on you. The wand has been circled around my head and I have magically transformed for the better. Calmer, more at peace, a lot more accepting of what is happening to me and most importantly I am comfortable in my skin though honestly it feels like I have got a whole new skin that is prettier, happier and content. The journey has finally become as much of an external one as a far more fulfilling internal one.

The most peculiar comment I have received in the recent past ‘ You are unapologetically strange’  perhaps the old me would have dissected this for hours trying to decipher some good in this comment, today it makes me smile and I wear it as a badge of honour ;)