The Penh – Viet diary Week 12

This week we stepped out, all of us literally and figuratively! The family invited me to visit a friend’s lychee farm close to the China border. An hour and a half out of the city and we were surrounded by nature, mountains, streams and fruit farms. 

Shared an elaborate spread with the villagers and drank beer with some of the farmers who seemed delighted. I stepped out and made a sincere effort of getting to know the people.

 I met a special child who due to some complications at birth had grown physically but the brain had not kept up, the most attractive little thing she was. We instantly connected, she kept seeking me out and I kept looking for ways to excuse myself from the others and spend time with her. Her mother cried when we saw how much we had bonded, she had led a rather difficult life and shared some stories with me. With a lump in my throat I excused myself, went for a walk found a lonely spot in the village and howled. I was overwhelmed by their simplicity; I was overwhelmed by how someone who had nothing could be so content? I was in awe of how happy the family was!  I couldn’t understand why life must be the hardest on the nicest people? This incident also shook me up as it mocked a recent stand on how I wished to live my life, it was a bold, progressive but compassionate stand.

Overwhelmed and humbled again, I ended the week with some somber thoughts. Life will keep throwing stuff at you and you have absolutely no control over that; you do however have a choice of surrounding yourself with your own little army that will fight, dodge, deflect these obstacles with you, and love you.

Eat, drink, fight!

The Penh Diary Week 5

I had two days of this week and I decided enough of staying cooped up inside due to my inherent flaw of not being able to go out alone. I stepped out.

I did a Dj night, an open mic comedy night, several night clubs, a gay bar and explored several fabulous eating joints by myself. I also made an effort to talk to fellow solo travelers. Getting out every night started to burn a hole in my pocket as I have decided to double the duration of my holiday. Shit!

I tried to convince myself that the new me didn’t require the luxury and comfort of my old life, to hell with the weekly beauty salon visits, massages, taxi’s and shopping I could live simply and be happy. I questioned the fact that given my current situation I didn’t have a choice but to rough it out a little, but once back home would I continue to gain happiness from this frugal life? I doubt it, but for now I have chosen the mid way there are days when I feed my stomach on others my vanity.

But trying to stay happy in any given situation and accepting things that are happening to you in a very important lesson that I learnt this week from the Siberian guy whose wife divorced him and wiped him clean, to the girl from Argentina whose parents got separated; neither of them wanted to take her responsibility. My favourite conversion was with an Irish gentleman who after gauging all my so-called knowledge about this world and its ways asked me ‘so are you happy now’ I promptly replied that I was far happier than I had been back home and am working hard to up the happiness quotient. I felt obliged to ask him the same question, he gave me a long pensive look, smiled and left … Well!

I also had a nasty showdown with my flatmates this week, my boss got involved and at that point I felt unfairly took sides. I was fuming it was 2 am, long chat dissecting the situation with my brother and sis in law helped marginally calm me down. Early morning chat with my other brother helped put things in perceptive but i still felt I had been wronged and if that wasn’t undone I was ready to pack and leave. I was amazed at the cities and countries I was willing to move to in an hours notice, it would cost me more but nothing was more important than my respect. My local friend heard me out and commented pride is expensive.  I tried very hard to remove the ‘I’ from the situation as advised by the Gita that I have been reading but was still convinced that I was not wrong.

 Didn’t sleep a wink, was livid all day, afternoon showers calmed me down and I made an effort to talk it out with my boss, several misconceptions from both sides were addressed and just like that the issues evaporated. Had I given in to my ego and stormed off I would have constantly lived with the guilt of not clearing my stand.

I have always believed that you have not really lived in a place if you haven’t visited a few important venues, had a meaningful interaction with the locals and eaten their food, partied, thrown up in the pot and had one good fight.

I have evidently done it all :)