The great Indian Common Wealth Games Saga …

I used to hold my head up high,
Proudly state am an Indian without letting out a sigh!

Today the whole world is mocking my pride,
And I will never Ever be able to take that in my stride.

2003 was the year we were given a chance,
2010 and we will never get a second glance.

We are the land of Kalpana Chawla and Arya Bhatta,
Organising a world class event will not cause a flutter.

But first Mr Kalmadi must fill his coffers, I hope u understand,
Pray do not bother him with trying to make a bridge stand.

We won’t kill our guests with faulty infrastructure says Sheila Dixit,
We were targeting ordinary spectators who are used to this shit.

Please don’t forget we have also made a global village to accommodate our athletes,
In fact we also decorated it with shit, piss and fleas.

I shall forever be indebted to you my dear Mr kalmadi,
For steadily ignoring the nations plea.

The panache with which you have wiped out India's name,
I really wonder was it worth your personal gain?

The facebook Syndrome…

Am quite astounded by the compulsive need to constantly stay ‘connected’ Call it keeping in touch with friends via popular social networking sites or merely keeping up with times, but this fad sure has us all hooked.

I was socially boycotted, when I wasn’t prompt enough in signing up to facebook some 3 odd years ago. Look I am really not a technically savvy person AT ALL! Even starting this blog has been mental torture for me, I hate to admit I spent 2 excruciating weeks trying to figure it out. So the point being that i was just getting the hang of orkut when along came this flamboyant cousin fb who was constantly showing off in my face till I eventually booked myself in.

Result being I now not only had orkut to figure out and update, but facebook had been added to my agony list as well! Eventually I did get the hang of it and life went on … but the frenzy refused to die down everyone was and still is quite gung-ho about updating their profiles, uploading snaps, tagging each other, commenting, poking and what not. Orkut has now become the poor distant cousin u don’t want to be seen in public with. Whereas facebook is advocated by the ‘wannabe’ and ‘elitist’ alike.

What does this site have that has gotten all of us hooked and booked? Me thinks fb makes us feel like celebrities. One never knows when one could get written about or when one’s snap could be put up, people will ha and ho over it. Then they will comment on it, u will either get flattered or upset. Regardless you are in the lime light right? Any publicity is good publicity sounds familiar?! We most often than not put up a status update with the intention of influencing one person/group or another. We want people to comment on it, in the absence of which we get dejected and work harder on thinking of a wittier one! We write things for effect. We send virtual flowers, cakes and gifts to each other. We spend hours toilling away on an online farm and feeding virtual animals !!!

We click snaps just so they can be put up on fb, “oh and don’t forget to tag me okay!” Our social status depends on how cool our fb page looks, who we friends with, how many people comment on our status updates/snaps. Some 0.5% people are solely there for the networking. But for the rest of us what better way to snoop around our friends/enemies/ ex boyfriends/current boyfriends/ siblings and those distant cousins we detest right?

We check fb updates … which reminds me need to wind this up as I need to check my fb account, not checked it in the last 7 mins that I have been writing this blog OMG !!!!

Come to think of it we even write blogs so that people can read them and leave nice comments which make us feel good about ourselves (the non flattering ones we have an option of deleting) Signing out with tongue firmly in cheek :-p

The death of a dream ...

It hit me on the New Year party we had this year in Udaipur. While partaking in the joyous revelry that was much due, I was asked a very innocuous question. The star of the show I was working on gave me a generous amount of credit for making a very significant contribution to the show.

On hearing this, the channel head, in a manner befitting a king, said okay jahnvi we grant you a wish, ask for anything you want. Me being a huge fan of the channel head, I was stumped. I knew I couldn’t ask for something naive wanting to make a good impression and all! But the fact is that for the life of me I didn’t know what to ask for. And to add to my dilemma I saw my boss merrily approaching my group of innocent tormentors. Kicking myself mentally I chided myself for not having a readymade witty answer. Sigh there goes my vision of a bright professional future …

Then the cynic in me came alive and I meekly tried an escape route by saying “two drunk men granting me a wish, of course, we will all remember this conversation in the morning” ha that would shut them up. ‘If u don’t believe in your wish it will never come true’, was the channel head’s prompt retort. Damn damn damn kill me somebody, who would’ve guessed such a simple question could cause such agony. Time was running out as was the groups patience, so I shared my dream of going abroad for a month to celebrate my birthday every year … I know I know it sounded bizarre to me even as I said it. I was mentally dismissed by all the ‘bada log’ standing there, who of course covered that deserving thought with polite smiles.

Party ended, self image shattered, but my ongoing debate with myself refused to die down. The eternal optimist in me declared that our scriptures have taught us that we should all strive to reach a stage of having zero desire. Bravo I had successfully attained what others strive to accomplish in a lifetime, by giving up material possessions etc etc.

Rubbish rebuked the ego that had been severely hurt by my behaviour; you are not even capable of having a single sane thought that was supposed to be in your favour?? Disgusting!

When the various battles going on inside by head had died down, I started analysing this supposedly insignificant but impactful incident. A part of me genuinely doesn’t want anything more than I already have. I am quite happy and content being where I currently am. …. Or come to think of it am I content with just being?

Rewind to ten years back when I was in college. I wanted to rule the world, I had a vision, and above all I had an insatiable passion for things. My regular day included college, my French diploma classes, classical music training, part time work, planning extra curricular activities for the various clubs I was a part of in college, going out and getting funds to see the activities through, attending street plays, music concerts, basket ball matches … I had a healthy rapport with a couple of groups of friends I regularly hung out with … AND I had a steady boyfriend which trust me is no less than a full time job  I went to sleep exhausted but satisfied, eager for the night to quickly get over so I could start a new day and go conquer new quests.

I had always said that give me a fully paid world tour on one side and a chance to visit Pakistan on the other and I would without second thought choose the later. I have my reasons for wanting to visit Pakistan but that’s another story. I still harbour that dream … why then did it slip my mind?

Today I have the resources that I lacked in my college days; to go and do all the extra curricular activities I aspired to be given a chance to do., I happen to know a few people at the right places and I possess a more refined know - how of the correct way of approaching and tackling issues that are close to my heart. But I don’t do a thing. I am content with my salary that lets me indulge myself in an insignificant manner;

Why? When did my life change so much from wanted to conquer the world to being happy to just exist? Wanting to shine like a star, to being content by just being a part of the crowd? Why have I become so mechanical in life. Home gym work friends home!

But u know what hurts more than anything else? Not the fact that I lack passion for the things I wanted to do, but the fact that I don’t aspire to be or do anything anymore. I strongly feel that we seek in times of turbulence and peace brings static. That’s what I am currently facing. Peace harmony, no real challenges, today is like yesterday and tomorrow will be like today. HOW BORING! I have and always will detest predictability.

As my favourite line from kungfu panda goes “ yesterday was the past forget it, tom is the future await it but today is gift which is why its called present” So now that I have rediscovered the gift am going to make the most of it. No more ‘chalta hai’ attitude.

When I look around me I see a lot of friends, colleagues, acquaintances suffering from the same syndrome. Either going about things on autopilot. No zest no enthusiasm whatsoever. Or they have gotten so caught up in fulfilling their dreams that they are skipping through the most important phase of their lives, the present! Come guys lets shake out of it. Let’s take out time to smell the flowers shall we?

Here’s to a more exciting and emotionally fulfilling journey henceforth. I will chase that dream if I have to …. But I ain’t letting it die just yet nah not so easily!